How do you feel with other people who are "nornal"

[Sean Bowen]

I was wondering if any of you have problems relating to people who have never known depression, or anxiety or any other serious problems. Of course I would never wish anyone depression, I was just wondering if you think people who have suffered from it are somewhat "deeper."

[Sean Bowen]

I have to say that as much as I love my friends, most of them cannot know what is going on inside my head. it is only with those few I know who have taken medication, and have been through what I have been through, it is to them that I share my experiences. Of course, with my normal friends I share everything else, but not that.

[Joshua Hughes]

I have learnt to relate to myself, once you are truly comfortable with this, other peoples opinion will become less significant.

[Jonathan Brown]

The question is if it is a fair test. I mean, I would not want anyone to suffer from depression, so the fact that person is handicapped is an unfair test as to whether they are deep or not. It is like, being a pacifist, I don't think anyone that has been in the army and has seen the horrors of war is any deeper, because the very fact that he was there goes against everything I believe in.

[Namaste2182]

I have a hard time relating to people who have relatively "normal" lives. They just don't get it. They don't understand how it's like to feel depressed. The people who I should be able to count on for emotional support (my parents) have dismissed my illness and told me to "snap out of it". So, this could be a huge contributer to why I just keep to myself. Some of my close friends have NO CLUE to the extent of how deep my depression is. I don't even bother telling them. I don't want to load all my problems on to them. I have had people in my life that have lent out their hands, but I refuse to take it. I know that they want to help me, but I just don't want to share my depression with them. I just want to keep to myself because I don't want to be judge. Anyone else get what I'm saying?

[Sean Bowen]

I too have a hard time talking to normal people sometimes. although all my friends know that I have depression, most think that as long as I talk, and smile and act normally, then it is not there. Not many people know that it is a day to day struggle, something that you always feel, but not always show.

still, the opens the door to a question, how can depressed people gain recognition, if they are too afraid to talk about it?

[Sean Bowen]

I too have a hard time talking to normal people sometimes. although all my friends know that I have depression, most think that as long as I talk, and smile and act normally, then it is not there. Not many people know that it is a day to day struggle, something that you always feel, but not always show.

still, the opens the door to a question, how can depressed people gain recognition, if they are too afraid to talk about it?

[Namaste2182]

Well, that's a hard question. I guess the answer is they won't get any recognition unless the people they surrond themselves are educated on depression and can catch the warning signs. Depression is very hard to deal with because it's so misconstrued. Normal people think they know what it is, but in actuality, they haven't got a clue!

[Ellen Adams]

An update on my friend... she no longer insists I stop taking medication. We simply don't mention it at all anymore.

And I have found that sometimes even people who suffer from depression can misunderstand. My sister wants me to be "better" so badly that she forgets she's been on antidepressants most of her adult life. She wants to snap her fingers and cure me. Makes her feel bad about herself that she's not able to do that. (I think her meds need to be increased, but that's another story.)

[Nic Lucas]

I was once one of 'those normal people' - until the first panic attack hit.

That panic attack became 'the' defining moment of my life for quite a while. The panic and anxiety were so intense that I either had to talk about it or keep quiet. There was no middle ground...I couldn't fake it well enough to hold a normal conversation.

Luckily I learnt how to deal with that.

People who have never experienced 'abnormal' levels of anxiety simply have no idea - and can never have an idea. They can't really even imagine how it feels and I needed to understand this. It's not a fault of theirs...

Where it got tricky for me was in their attempt to 'process' me with advice like: "look, there's nothing wrong...you're a smart guy..." To which I'd reply, "I know I'm a smart guy - that's what's making me all the more anxious - for crying out loud - you think I don't know that this anxiety is out of control - if it was anything to do with being 'smart' I'd be able to control it" (I've deleted the expletives that I used).

The worst experience was when I had depersonalization and derealization. I'd be giving a lecture, or talking to students at the end of the lecture - and there'd be this 'other' person talking to them (the keep-the-show-on-the-road-dude) and then there'd be me as the detached anxious and distant observer of the situation - not sure how this 'other' person was managing to have a normal conversation.

I found that the best 'normal' friends were the ones who didn't try to process me or 'cure' me. They let me tell them if I was feeling anxious or full of panic - they'd just listen and I'd feel relieved that someone else on the planet knew that I was feeling absolutely awful. That would take the edge off.

It's damn lonely having these feelings and not being able to share them - especially when they are new feelings. It'd be just like having a terrible itch that you couldn't stop scratching - and having to have a conversation with someone and not scratch. But the itch is so intense that you're almost wincing - and all you want to do is interrupt what the other person is saying to say, "I'm so *&^%^&U* itchy - I can't tell you how itchy I am - I've gotta scratch".

So, how did I feel with other people who were normal? It all depended upon who the other people were...

Cheers
Nic

http://www.niclucas.com